Letting Intuition Lead: Embracing Growth and Positivity over Bitterness and Ego

Life is a series of daily choices. When we are faced with adversity, it’s human nature to become bitter. How many times have you gotten worked up about something that didn’t go your way and let that feeling bleed over into the next minute? It can be difficult to accept those situations for what they are and allow them to teach us something about challenging our perspectives. There is a growing movement within these moments that we can choose growth over bitterness. By allowing our mindset and intuition to take the lead instead of our ego, we can foster personal growth and outlook on life.

Next time you find yourself in a pit of turmoil, maybe you received news about a process at work that you didn’t enjoy... or you didn’t get that promotion you’ve been working towards ask yourself:

“If I have a choice, will I choose to be better, not bitter”

-growing with intuition, not ego.

Intuition vs. Ego

At the core of growing through discomfort is intuition vs ego. Our intuition is that small voice inside that helps us know things intuitively. It’s that gut feeling when something doesn’t feel right. Ego, however, can cause us to feel as though we are better than others and trigger fight or flight reactions. Our ego views things through the lens of our past pain. When something doesn’t go our way, it’s easier to become bitter if we let our ego take control. Studies have shown that individuals who operate from their egos are less likely to embrace change; in one study, 70% of participants worried about self-image were more likely to miss opportunities for growth when presented with conflict.

Choose Growth Over Bitterness

When we allow ourselves to become bitter, it impacts how we behave and treat others. Research from Psychology Today has shown that bottling up bitterness can lead to isolation and even health consequences like increased stress and lower immune responses.

We can grow through those moments by taking that bitterness and turning it into productive energy. Productive energy starts with an inventory and assessment of self - much like other moments of personal growth. When we recognize what sets off our bitterness we can learn to look for lessons in every situation that hurts us. If someone was fired from their dream job, they could use that constructive energy to find a new passion or go back to school. By changing our mindset and perception towards growth we open ourselves up to new opportunities and Gratitude.

Let Intuition Guide Your Decision-Making.

Naysayers will say that intuition is ridiculous. But science has shown that trusting our instincts can help us make better decisions. Researchers at the University of Iowa discovered that study participants who leaned on their intuition made more meaningful decisions, particularly when under pressure.

Our intuition can come from signals we subconsciously pick up on. Letting ourselves tune into that inner voice can help us make difficult decisions. A mother may trust their intuition when dealing with their child’s conflict at school. Rather than acting out of anger, they may approach the principal with empathy and ask how the child can resolve the issue.

How to Grow Your Intuition

Like any skill, building your intuition takes practice. Here are three ways you can start growing your intuition:

• Mindfulness is the first step. When we are present, we allow ourselves to stay grounded in the moment and tune into our instincts. Conscious Practices like meditation or even deep breathing can help. One study showed that after 8 weeks of consistent mindfulness practices, participants had increased brain function associated with decision making by up to 25 percent.

• Trust yourself. We all doubt ourselves when we need to make big decisions. The more you can trust yourself, the easier it will be to follow your intuition. Keep a journal of all the times you made successful decisions by following your gut. The American Psychological Association released a study that showed when we track our intuition, we create a confidence boost by visually seeing patterns of successful decision-making.

• Listen to Your Body. Our bodies can often give us intuitive signs when we pause to listen. Maybe when you’re talking to someone your body feels relaxed. Or when you’re making a decision your stomach kicks with excitement. Tune into those feelings to help guide your intuition.

Don’t Let Your Ego Hold You Back

Our ego can get in the way by causing us to seek validation from others. We may make choices based on what other think instead of what we want. This can cause us to make decisions out of fear or insecurity. If we make a decision that is not in alignment with our true wants and needs, we may become resentful. A good example would be business owners who feel they need to be top dogs. Not only will this create a toxic environment for their team, but they may miss out on collaborating with others. Notice when ego is present when thinking about a decision. Allow yourself time to reflect and truly understand the difference between your instincts and ego talking.

Practice Positivity

One of the best ways to avoid bitterness is to practice positivity. Try a few of these tips:

Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude. When we are mindful and take the time to recognize the things we’re grateful for, we rewire our brains to look for abundance. Instead of allowing something negative to bring you down, focus on the things that bring you joy. You will feel happier and more satisfied! Harvard Medical School did a survey that showed participants who practiced gratitude by keeping a gratitude journal were 25% happier than those who didn’t. Recognize the bad things happen, even hard feelings towards things arise but do not focus on that feeling over something that represents abundance in your life.

Surround yourself with things that bring you happiness. We often hear this quote that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Whether that’s true or not, partly depends on you. The people you spend time with can greatly affect your mindset. When you’re around positive people, you’ll find yourself feeling more positive. There will be days where you aren’t able to avoid someone who may not have a positive outlook. When those people come into your life work to grow with them. Don’t let a few bad apples spoil the bunch! Fill your time with as many positive things and people as you can. Whether that’s people you surround yourself with, books you read, or articles you listen to. When you feed your mind things that improve your growth, you’ll continue to seek those things out.

Set growth oriented goals. Have you ever made a new years resolution and promised yourself you would go to the gym more? Guess what. So did everybody else. Making a generic goals is easy but that’s why most people fail at keeping them. When you set goals that you can measure and are specific to you, you have an increase chance of following through. One study done by Dominican University of California proved that when you set goals that were specific and could be measured you saw your chance of success increase by up to 30%!

Celebrate the Small Things

Growing isn’t always going to feel like a breakthrough moment. Once you start focusing on bettering yourself you will start to see small moments where you could have been bitter but chose growth. Celebrate those moments! The more you recognize these times, the more positivity you will radiate, and the easier it will become to choose growth over bitterness. Whether it was a decision you knew was right, you were kind to someone who didn’t deserve it or you learned from a mistake. Those are all moments worth celebrating.

Now it’s your turn to decide.

We live in a world full of emotions, reactions, perspectives, and perception. There will always be things we can not control, but we can control how we react to them. By allowing our intuition to lead when we would typically let our ego take over, we can learn to grow through those moments and spread positivity. When you make the conscious decision to allow growth over bitterness you aren’t only bettering yourself but spreading that growth to others. Just remember what we said about the world we live in..this isn’t easy and takes practice. Don’t be upset with yourself if you choose bitterness every now and then. Challenge your perception and your mindset will shift.

Will you choose better, not bitter?